Yes...It has been too long!

I realize that I have not written in my blog from quite some time, and I sincerely apologize for that! (This one's for you Melanie!) Life has gotten very busy and very frustrating for me in the last few months. I have been gradually gaining weight, and I thought it was my fault for eating wrong, but ever since I've focused on losing weight, nothing has happened. So on Monday, my mother and I are going to the doctor to see if I might have hypothyroidism. (That's a disease where they thyroid doesn't produce enough T4 and T3 hormones and it makes your thyroid really, REALLY slow, causes you to be tired a lot, and makes you crave carbs, among other annoying symptoms) Thankfully, this has a treatment, but after reading some reviews on this treatment, which is a pill, I am only feeling worse about the possibility of my having hypothyroidism. Most people who have reported taking this medication have complained about being hungry more often and just gaining more weight. I have always had problems with body image, even when I was a comfortable 110 pounds, so the thought of gaining more weight is DEVASTATING!! Basically I feel trapped in a corner with no way out, and I am leaning heavily on those people closest to me. While I sincerely appreciate their comfort, I don't want to be too dependent. I'm constantly seeking God and questioning his intentions for my situation. I honestly trust that he has something to teach me, but I only feel myself being dragged even deeper into self-pity. I don't want to be a spoiled, selfish person, so there is a major spiritual and emotional battle going on in me right now, and I need as many prayers as I can get.
Ok , on a more positive note, I have recently been looking into possibly graduating early from high school and taking a year off to possibly get a job, do some overseas mission work, and maybe shadow my grandfather (he is a nurse anesthetist, which is what I want to do!) I had to fill out some applications and just found out this past Thursday that my request has been granted and I am "all systems go". I have a lot to do before graduation, like getting senior pictures, sending out invites, and applying for any college that will have me so I can at least have a college acceptance before I take my year off. I'm hoping this all works out ok!
Also, my favorite hockey team, the Centennial Cougars, beat a really hard team last night in the second round of the playoffs. They beat Father Ryan 6-5 in a REALLY close game! They are really good and I'm hoping they go all the way to the finals! I'm sooooooo excited!!!
Ummm...I'm hoping that this time I can actually keep up with my blog and post stuff every other day, if not weekly :-) Hopefully next time I write I can have some information about my possible condition! God Bless You!!

~Psalm 46~

YAY!! First Post! What to put...

So, today is Wednesday, and I am on the sixth week of my junior year... which is AWFUL! I'm taking a lot of hard classes because colleges look more at what you take your junior year and I want to get a scholarship somewhere... I'm kinda lacking in the money department :P My schedule includes, but is not limited to Honors Pre-Calculus, AP English III, and AP US History... GROSS!! I have made a promise to myself to take ridiculously easy classes next year when I'm a senior!

<--This is a picture of my dad and my brothers and me before a really long bike ride in the Smokey Mountains

So far in my life, I have struggled in the field of...love :( The only time I have been asked out on a date was a complete joke in 7th grade! I know, confidence-boosting, right? Anyway, I am feeling kind of like a reject and unwanted, but I am learning to deal only with the love of God. He loves me SO much, that it pales in comparison to what any man here on earth could feel about me. My friends have also been very supportive and surprisingly tolerant of my constant bringing-up of the topic. I DO have a crush on someone right now, but no one notices me, so why should he be any different, right? I am trying to get myself over this bump in the road so that I can become more self-confident and independent. And reliant on God for happiness and fulfillment.


I am really excited about this coming weekend because I am going on a youth group trip with a bunch of youth leaders. I LOVE these guys! Seriously! I have known them for about 7 months now, but I feel as if I have known them FOREVER! They are the most amazing, caring, accepting people I have EVER met and I am so glad God put them in my life! And our youth ministers, JP, Melanie, and Jamie... they're CRAZY COOL!!!


I think thats all I can really say for now... my life is not really that... interesting, but I will try to find interesting things so I can post them for you :)


Oh... and today is my little brother Jeremiah's birthday. He's 9! I feel so OLD!! (He's the little african-american boy in the yellow shirt.)