Saturday, January 31, 2009

Yes...It has been too long!

I realize that I have not written in my blog from quite some time, and I sincerely apologize for that! (This one's for you Melanie!) Life has gotten very busy and very frustrating for me in the last few months. I have been gradually gaining weight, and I thought it was my fault for eating wrong, but ever since I've focused on losing weight, nothing has happened. So on Monday, my mother and I are going to the doctor to see if I might have hypothyroidism. (That's a disease where they thyroid doesn't produce enough T4 and T3 hormones and it makes your thyroid really, REALLY slow, causes you to be tired a lot, and makes you crave carbs, among other annoying symptoms) Thankfully, this has a treatment, but after reading some reviews on this treatment, which is a pill, I am only feeling worse about the possibility of my having hypothyroidism. Most people who have reported taking this medication have complained about being hungry more often and just gaining more weight. I have always had problems with body image, even when I was a comfortable 110 pounds, so the thought of gaining more weight is DEVASTATING!! Basically I feel trapped in a corner with no way out, and I am leaning heavily on those people closest to me. While I sincerely appreciate their comfort, I don't want to be too dependent. I'm constantly seeking God and questioning his intentions for my situation. I honestly trust that he has something to teach me, but I only feel myself being dragged even deeper into self-pity. I don't want to be a spoiled, selfish person, so there is a major spiritual and emotional battle going on in me right now, and I need as many prayers as I can get.
Ok , on a more positive note, I have recently been looking into possibly graduating early from high school and taking a year off to possibly get a job, do some overseas mission work, and maybe shadow my grandfather (he is a nurse anesthetist, which is what I want to do!) I had to fill out some applications and just found out this past Thursday that my request has been granted and I am "all systems go". I have a lot to do before graduation, like getting senior pictures, sending out invites, and applying for any college that will have me so I can at least have a college acceptance before I take my year off. I'm hoping this all works out ok!
Also, my favorite hockey team, the Centennial Cougars, beat a really hard team last night in the second round of the playoffs. They beat Father Ryan 6-5 in a REALLY close game! They are really good and I'm hoping they go all the way to the finals! I'm sooooooo excited!!!
Ummm...I'm hoping that this time I can actually keep up with my blog and post stuff every other day, if not weekly :-) Hopefully next time I write I can have some information about my possible condition! God Bless You!!

~Psalm 46~